the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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