if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
How does it feel to date your dad?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
