i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
