Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
