my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
