I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Actions speak louder than pants.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
