return my video game
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
