I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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