Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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