She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My ass is underappreciated
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
