i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
