Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
