They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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