Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We left the knife in your bed.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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