Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
