Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
