It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize