I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
