I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
