Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
