I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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