Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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