i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just high enough for therapy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
