When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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