Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My vagina is very pro this idea
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
