Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
