Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
