he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
