went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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