D3 body, D1 cock
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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