A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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