he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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