He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
