I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
