He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
