I just saw a hot homeless man
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize