Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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