Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
