If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
