So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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