you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
