Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
