She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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