It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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