yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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