I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
handjob tips. give me some.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
