I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize