let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
