I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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