I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
