when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
