too bad you live with your parents still
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
