I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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