I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
