The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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