Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Enjoy the penises
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
