he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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