I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize